A Traumatic Dog Attack Part 2

I noticed a few things ever since the dog attack on December 11th. First thing, is it is an event I will never forget about. Second, is I've felt different like not having the holiday spirit. I haven't felt like that ever since then. Last, is it is harder to maintain happiness. 

Everyone has felt bad for me and their point of views have given me conflicted/ unwanted thoughts.  I've been experiencing so much trauma that it has affected my every day life. I just want people to be quiet and leave me alone because my stress has become harder to manage. The only thing that's made me truly happy is boxing because it helps deal with stress and makes me have a great time. 

Anyway, I wanted to figure out what might be causing all this and it turns out I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). This has not been the first time I've experienced PTSD, and this time might be worse. It has given me nightmares, flashbacks, anger, panic, fear, anxiety, isolated, sadness/ depression, loss of interests, numb with people, and worried or fearful about any kind of  relationships. I don't know if I ever want to see another dog outside of family again.

Part of this trauma was going through antibiotics and its side effects. I had to take probiotics and have food and drinks with probiotics. My neurologist gave me different antibiotics to take for a few days too. My pill box was super full and it was awful. Some side effects I experienced were headaches and an upset stomach. The healing process has been extremely stressful as well. So, all of this non sense is part of the traumatic process and puts more stress on myself. 

My hand is starting to get scars and I hate looking at them. Although, they make me look badass. I've tried my best to stay happy, but sadness is winning. I just feel like I didn't deserve to go through this process of trauma, antibiotics, probiotics, side effects, and discovering I have PTSD.

I'm still taking care of myself as much as possible, even if trauma is impacting my life. That event has made me start a new chapter in my life. Trying my best is how I want to lead my life. I have accomplished so much, but sometimes trauma has gotten in the way a lot. However, I want a good Christmas, have positive vibes, and hopefully better moments in 2022. 

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