An Epilepsy Warrior's Journey

There are struggles in life that are difficult to face and sometimes it is important to think how others feel. They might have something wrong with them and stepping in their shoes is a great way to understand more. In my case, having epilepsy is a rough condition to manage and I believe people don't understand how much a seizure disorder impacts my life. I had an extremely scary seizure last week after class because my professor was not  accepting my accommodations.  I forgot we had to bring a project in because after the seizure and during the  recovery process makes me forget things and think unclearly. This always makes me feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life. Then the other day, my professor didn't accept when I told her I have memory problems from the seizure as an excuse on why I didn't bring my project in.  What if she had a seizure and had a long recovery process?  How do you think she would feel before, during, and after a seizure? What if s...

Having seizures over and over again in one day is so stressful.  I always wish for my seizure control was back on track. When I have a seizure in public, I feel humiliated as if I've done something wrong.  I don't like having grand mal seizures because they are so scary. Having the feeling of not knowing where you are or who you're with during the seizure seems scary too.  Paramedics come and check me out, but they won't find anything about me. The only thing they'll find out is either low blood sugar or that I have epilepsy.  I suffer from fainting (very common with epilepsy) and the main cause is lack of energy from not enough calories.  This trigger leads to grand mal seizures, while my others usually don't.   While waiting for paramedics, people look at me and feel really bad I have to go through so much of a seizure procedure. Saying t hings like, " That poor girl. I feel so bad she has to go through this". I  get looked at and go home. Somet...

Now that I have covered the basic principles about epilepsy( the definition, auras, triggers, seizures and, etc), I would like to share some background knowledge about my epilepsy.  There are different kinds of seizures and epilepsy and the kind I go through is refractory epilepsy. The two kind of seizures I have are partial and grand mal seizures.   Refractory epilepsy is where medicine doesn't always have the best of luck on treating seizure control. Seizure control is a difficult process because not everyone gets the same treatment, which can or cannot take longer to manage.  Partial seuzures is when electrical activity affects a small area of the brain (the lobe(s) it's located in)  and muscles of the body. Most body movements involve shaking, screaming, crying, etc during the seizure.  Grand Mal seizures involve a loss of consciousness (blackouts) and violent muscle movements. I don't remember what happened once I regain consciousness from a grand mal ...

When I had brain surgery, the surgeons looked in my occipital lobe (where vision is controlled) because that is where they believed the epilepsy was located. However, when the surgery failed, I was left with a large scar and non-prereferral vision on the left side of my brain. Ever since I was 8, I'm not able to see on my right side of my head (since the brain crosses). If I look straight, I can see the paper on my screen, but cannot see my blog logo in the upper right of my computer. I use my left eye as a guide to see out of my right. When I try to look right, my eye muscle cannot move and if it tries to look right, it hurts. The pain eventually goes away, but it hurts a lot to get back into place.  Living partially blind isn't a big deal most of the time, its more of annoying . It is pretty easy crossing the street and doing small tasks. However, if I'm walking next to someone, I have to be on their right side so my left eye can do it's magic. Since I cannot see on t...

Everyone has different kinds of seizures  and epilepsy due to where it is located in the brain. Some people have trouble acting or speaking because it could be in the frontal lobe, or in my case, I have trouble with vision reading, and understanding things because my epilepsy is in the occipital lobe and from having surgery too. This can make it difficult to understand how someone feels, reacts to certain things, what can cause triggers, and what their seizures and recovery process is like. Therefore, it's important to look at an epileptic's point of view and being in their shoes as a helpful resource. There are 3 stages of having a seizure.  First are auras (before) second is the seizure itself (during) and the recovery (after) stage. After a seizure, most people pass out or go to sleep which is very common. Once a person gets rest from the seizure, there are different outcomes on how the seizure impacted the person.  Some people feel fine, don't remember much, experienc...

In November, I wrote a piece called "The Power of Family." In this piece, I will be discussing the definition of family and what it does to our lives. We sometimes forget the most important moments in our families' lives and need a reminder who these people are and why they are here.  My definition of family is being in an environment where there are supportive and caring people looking out for you. It is possible an old friend, teacher, trainer, etc can become family.  There are bonds we make with each other and they are like puzzle pieces. We are put together, but sometimes get lost because of difficulties each and everyone of us face. Family are the people that understand us more than ourselves.  It is important to find ourselves, but help is nessasary on the way.  An example from my personal experiences is one of the boxing trainers named Clyde. He makes me laugh because he talks like a smart grandfather. While one of my coworkers seems like an older sister and a...

In life, we've all messed up on what we do. However, this creature's quote makes sense. When we get knocked out either physically or emotionally, it is our choice whether to get up and try again or stay down and fail.  I have knocked my head down countless times in my life from having a seizure disorder. I've fallen on concrete, wooden floor, tile ground, the road and other hard surfaces. I've had 3 concussions in my life too. However, I find there are reasons why I should live. Those reasons are called goals. Educating seizure aid 101 helps learn how to catch someone's head. I want to get up and tell you what to look for in someone about to seize. That's one of my top goals in life. I feel like epilepsy awareness has to be spread. It's a beautiful feeling.   I set goals because I love accomplishing things I love. Even if I've hit my head multiple times, I get up and want to live life. There might be something exciting happening and I wouldn...

Here are different kinds of human activity that we can do to make a difference in animals' and nature's lives.               "Yes! Please let me breathe"                "No! I can't breathe!"     "Yes! I'm going to help produce dirt for gardening."                "No! I don't want to be wasted!"  "Yes! We can be reused multiple times." "No!  Please don't because I can't be used multiple times. "      "Yes! I can become something new and used again."  "No! I won't be able to make something new if I get put in here!"  Nature does not know how to speak, so I'm speaking up for nature. I love tress and flowers. They help us and we should help them. 

I've always been a fan of art. I just knew ever since I was little, I would become a fan of art. Art has changed my life and for the better. This has helped my life in multiple ways.  Ever since I held a pencil in my hand, I started growing as a young girl to a strong woman. It went from messy painting to sketching  portraits . The biggest benefit of being an artist is art helps with managing ALL of my emotions/ feelings. Epilepsy has been a help because I sometimes I have trouble understanding things, but epileptics tend to be very good at art. If I feel bad, give me a pencil and I'll feel better.   I did NOT learn to be super successful by myself.  I had lots of help while growing up. My art teachers gave very good advice, feedback and guidance. This included getting  art lessons and tons of practice . When I was 17, I drew  a portrait of Eddie Murphy that was hung up in a gallery over the  weekend.  It never would have happened if it wasn'...

The Covid-19 pandemic has been interfering with our every day lives.  I hope the cases will go down and the pandemic will not be super bad. The hardest part for me is meeting people because a lot of events had to be closed.   I love interacting with people and there's not many positive vibes to feel when I go online and see them.  If I had to describe Covid in one word, it would be "frustrating". I find it frustrating because of the restrictions applied everywhere, lack of staff, and multiple cancelations.  I don't mind wearing masks, I mind having not much freedom. We all wish this was over and we could return back to our original lives. This might be hard to believe, but I believe it is important to be around people because isolation hasn't given us many benefits.   I'm so grateful I still get to go to school, the gym, my job, and more. We have to take our good qualities and fight against the bad qualities from Covid-19. This virus has been...

Some of my favorite art projects of 2021. I cannot wait to see what 2022 will bring. 

Here are some reasons why animals and nature should not be endangered due to the special traits  they have. Different traits make them  majestic and beautiful creatures. Here are some of my favorite  animals' facts.   Enjoy!  Wild Cats:                                    Lions  & Lionesses :       1.  Kick their cubs out of the pride around age 2 because there can only be one king, but female cubs stay          2. Use their manes and sharp claws to fight other lions that may want to join their pride        3. Fight other lions to see who gets to mate with lionesses      4. Sleep for 21 out of 24 hours a day        5. Lionesses work in groups to hunt and ambush their prey (zebras, wildebeest, bu ffalo, and antelope)     ...